Life On a Submarine

What's life like on a submarine? Imagine a VW camper bus with the windows painted black and a diesel engine. You have to spend three months in the van with four other people that you may or may not like. There are five people and three beds. When it's time to go to bed you just find a bed that isn't occupied and crawl in. Two or three times a day you have to pretend that there is a fire and everyone has to get out of bed and pretend to put out the fire. Then every Saturday everyone gets up and cleans the inside of the van for six hours. You have to drive the VW bus around town while someone else looks out a peephole in the roof. You get to shower every day but it's in a room just a little wider than your shoulders...and you only get about 3 gallons of water to wash and rinse. Don't ask me how the van gets rid of the poop unless you really want to know. Do this several times three months at a time and then you'll wonder why some submarine sailors go a little crazy. Now they get to share this life with members of the opposite sex and without smoking if you really want to.