Thursday, January 31, 2013
Thursday, February 17, 2011
From Stargate: SG-1, Season 7, Episode "Hero"
Four soldiers walking through the woods:
Colonel Dave Dixon: Yeah, all-night screaming, projectile vomiting, nuclear diapers... you have no idea. The reason they make them so damn cute is so you don't suffocate 'em in their sleep.
Senior Airman Simon Wells: Sir, you have *four* kids.
Colonel Dave Dixon: Yeah, why do you think I enjoy my job so much? Don't get me wrong, I love the little buggers to death, but trust me, havin' four kids makes going through a Stargate and facin' off against alien bad guys look like nothin'. This is relaxing.
Senior Airman Simon Wells: Then why'd you have four?
Colonel Dave Dixon: Well, one's pretty bad, but you figure you gotta have two so the little guy can have a brother or sister, right? Then you have two boys, and the wife says she want a girl so you figure "Hell, three can't be much worse than two", right? What you don't realize is your brain is fried 'cause you haven't slept. After three, four is no big deal. You're so deep in it, nothin' seems to matter any more. It's chaos. You're just tryin' to make it through each day alive. In the end you spend all the energy you have left tryin' to get 'em into bed only to lie awake prayin' they don't get hooked on drugs, hurt, or worse... wind up dead in an alley somewhere.
Senior Airman Simon Wells: Can't wait, sir.
Colonel Dave Dixon: Yeah, miracle of birth, my ass. I'll tell you what a miracle is, birth control that works.
Four soldiers walking through the woods:
Colonel Dave Dixon: Yeah, all-night screaming, projectile vomiting, nuclear diapers... you have no idea. The reason they make them so damn cute is so you don't suffocate 'em in their sleep.
Senior Airman Simon Wells: Sir, you have *four* kids.
Colonel Dave Dixon: Yeah, why do you think I enjoy my job so much? Don't get me wrong, I love the little buggers to death, but trust me, havin' four kids makes going through a Stargate and facin' off against alien bad guys look like nothin'. This is relaxing.
Senior Airman Simon Wells: Then why'd you have four?
Colonel Dave Dixon: Well, one's pretty bad, but you figure you gotta have two so the little guy can have a brother or sister, right? Then you have two boys, and the wife says she want a girl so you figure "Hell, three can't be much worse than two", right? What you don't realize is your brain is fried 'cause you haven't slept. After three, four is no big deal. You're so deep in it, nothin' seems to matter any more. It's chaos. You're just tryin' to make it through each day alive. In the end you spend all the energy you have left tryin' to get 'em into bed only to lie awake prayin' they don't get hooked on drugs, hurt, or worse... wind up dead in an alley somewhere.
Senior Airman Simon Wells: Can't wait, sir.
Colonel Dave Dixon: Yeah, miracle of birth, my ass. I'll tell you what a miracle is, birth control that works.
Tuesday, February 01, 2011
Boisvert Family 2010 Christmas Letter
Dear Friends December 2010
We hope this Christmas letter finds all our friend’s households sound and in good shape. Kari and I are holding it together despite the aches and pains of scratching at the age of 60. We didn’t send a letter out last year (life just got too complex) so I will try to catch you up on the past two years worth of family chatter. Kari is working as the Executive Director at the local United Way office. We made our annual trip to Norway this year and enjoyed time with all the family over there. We took a few side trips by mostly spoiled the grandbabies. I continue to work on the China Lake Navy Base as a Computer Scientist.
We enjoy our role as grandparents to 10 and two halfs grandbabies.
Frank works as a Computer Specialist and his wife Jeni works in the ICU at our local hospital. They are here in Ridgecrest and had a baby girl named Grace Alyn in March 2009. And she is a cutie. They also have a son Caleb who is seven years old.
Tim finished an 18 month tour in Tokyo for his company. He works for RedHat as a Business Analyst and got married in June 2010 to the beautiful Heather.
Cameron got married to Gina and is serving a 12 month tour in Baghdad in the Army as a Computer Specialist. They are expecting and she is due in June of 2011.
We don’t see Heather and Nikki, but we know Heather had a baby girl in the summer. Nikki has a daughter Spohia and is expecting her second child and is due any day now. We see granddaughter McKenzie on a regular basis and it is fun to watch her grow up into a young lady.
Naomi and Terje in Norway had a girl two years ago named Linnea and have a five year old son named Jacob. Naomi recently started working at a local school. Terje works as a manager in a home decorating store.
Belinda and Jerry are trying to start a family and enjoying living in Houston, TX. Jerry works on the Space Shuttle as an Aeronautical Engineer and Belinda works as a Hair Dresser with a sizable clientele
Glenn and Christy moved to Norway and just had a baby boy named Julian. They have a two year old son named Niko.
Miriam and her husband divorced several years ago, and she has now met a wonderful man named Morten. They are living in Norway and are getting married in June of 2011. Morten is looking forward to being step-father to five year-old Sebastian.
Allen took his discharge after three and half years in the Army after serving 15 months in Afghanistan on the front lines. He is working at our local Staples and his girlfriend Sara works for Kari as an Administrative Assistant. As a result, we see quite a bit of them.
All in all our health is good and Kari and I are still madly in love with each other and love our time without any kids living at home. I was in the hospital in the spring and Kari continues to battle Fibromyalgia.
We hope and pray that you have good health and are happy with your lives. We think of our friends often and miss you all on a regular basis. God bless you all.
Bob and KariFriday, January 28, 2011
New Home
boisvertblog.com...
has a new home and a new look. My son (the world's greatest blog-keeper-upper) ported all my boisvertblog.com posts to boisvertblog.blogspot.com .
Thank you Frank.... you are my hero!!!
has a new home and a new look. My son (the world's greatest blog-keeper-upper) ported all my boisvertblog.com posts to boisvertblog.blogspot.com .
Thank you Frank.... you are my hero!!!
Friday, January 14, 2011
Missy the Cat
I wrote this about four years ago:
I had to put my cat Missy "to sleep," about 11 years ago. She, unlike many cats, loved babies and served as their favorite furry pillow. Missy and the "current" baby we had at the time would nap in the afternoon sunlight on the carpet. When the oldest "baby" was old enough to go off to the Air Force, Missy got sick. She had kidney failure. The day she could no longer climb into her favorite chair was when I made the tough decision to take her to the vet. I put her on the bed to take her final picture. Even though she was barely awake, she managed to mustered her best cat-smile. She too knew where she was going and purred like a kitten in my lap in the car. She stayed in my lap, with her head on her paw, as the vet agreed with my decision. She looked up at me, before the Vet sat down next to us, and she said, "I love you Bob. Thanks for saving me from the pound, a day before it was 'too late.' Thanks for the laser-tag, the ear scratches behind the ears and that stash of catnip. Thanks for the Girl Scout cookies and glass of milk we shared every evening. I want you to know that I forgave you for that 'rubber band on the tail' trick and those horrible flea-baths your wife insisted you give me. But … our babies are grown now and my job is done. I'm told that most cats go to the Celestial Kingdom and I'll be sure and ask for you as my owner when you get there. But most of all, Bob, thank you for those babies … it was nice of you to let me love them and babysit them. I loved those babies." Then she put her head down and when she stopped purring I knew she was gone. I cried for hours that afternoon. I buried her in the back yard and every spring flowers grow above her.
Now that the grand babies are arriving and they come to the house to visit, the replacement cats are way too busy to want to deal with them. The grand babies just don't know that the best nap is with Missy as their pillow.
I had to put my cat Missy "to sleep," about 11 years ago. She, unlike many cats, loved babies and served as their favorite furry pillow. Missy and the "current" baby we had at the time would nap in the afternoon sunlight on the carpet. When the oldest "baby" was old enough to go off to the Air Force, Missy got sick. She had kidney failure. The day she could no longer climb into her favorite chair was when I made the tough decision to take her to the vet. I put her on the bed to take her final picture. Even though she was barely awake, she managed to mustered her best cat-smile. She too knew where she was going and purred like a kitten in my lap in the car. She stayed in my lap, with her head on her paw, as the vet agreed with my decision. She looked up at me, before the Vet sat down next to us, and she said, "I love you Bob. Thanks for saving me from the pound, a day before it was 'too late.' Thanks for the laser-tag, the ear scratches behind the ears and that stash of catnip. Thanks for the Girl Scout cookies and glass of milk we shared every evening. I want you to know that I forgave you for that 'rubber band on the tail' trick and those horrible flea-baths your wife insisted you give me. But … our babies are grown now and my job is done. I'm told that most cats go to the Celestial Kingdom and I'll be sure and ask for you as my owner when you get there. But most of all, Bob, thank you for those babies … it was nice of you to let me love them and babysit them. I loved those babies." Then she put her head down and when she stopped purring I knew she was gone. I cried for hours that afternoon. I buried her in the back yard and every spring flowers grow above her.
Now that the grand babies are arriving and they come to the house to visit, the replacement cats are way too busy to want to deal with them. The grand babies just don't know that the best nap is with Missy as their pillow.
Monday, January 03, 2011
10 Children Into The World
I Have Sent 10 Children Out Into the World (c) 2008 - Bob Boisvert
My oldest child, a son, lived at home until he was 19 ½ years old. His
mother and I desperately tried to get him to leave the nest after he
graduated from high school but he clawed his fingers across the floor
as we dragged him towards the front door, resisting every inch of the
way. We bid him welcome to the world when he joined the Air Force as a
weapons loader on B-52 bombers. He came home for a short time, to aid
his family after his mother died and his enlistment ended. After he
was sure we were safe and taken care of, he made his way back out into
the world. He married a great lady with a wonderful little boy.
The next, a girl, stayed behind in Norway when her mother and I got
married and moved to the States. The daughter settled into her life
without her mother and after a few tentative steps into the world, she
met and married a wonderful man who takes care of her and keeps her
safe and warm and dry. This daughter, of all my children, was the
easiest to raise. When she came into my life she was already potty
trained, had a driver's license and a good paying job.
Next came a son who screamed bloody-murder for his independence as
soon as he graduated from high school at age 16. His mother and I
managed to sit on him until he was 18-years old and within a couple of
weeks of his birthday he bolted for the door. He used to say that I
didn't approve of his quest for freedom...until one day he remembered
exactly who had driven him up to Utah and didn't make him pay for any
of the gas. When I dropped him off at an apartment filled with college
students... I consider that to be his release onto the world. He
honorably served a mission for our church, returned, got an education
and an incredible job filled with challenge and potential.
Then came a daughter that had initially stayed behind in Norway. It
wasn't many weeks until she came trotting behind her mom to America.
She made some life-decisions that made me scratch my head in wonder.
One day she woke up and said, "This is insane." She picked up the
phone, called her mother and said, "I need some advice, Mamma." Within
a week she was home and within another week she had met an incredible
man who swept her off of her feet with a storybook romance. I feel I
released her to the world when she and this knight-hearted man got
married.
Behind her was a son that came from Norway and desperately wanted to
go on a mission for our church. In spite of an initial disappointment
about his assigned destination, he realized the Lord would never send
him somewhere he wasn't supposed to be. He went out into the world
with his scriptures, two suits and an incredible commitment to do the
Lord's work. After his mission he came home with his head held high,
met a young lady and chased her until she caught him.
Next was a daughter that relocated to the States with her mother. But
she only stayed for a few weeks before she headed back to Norway.
There was a boy in her life and fortunately he was a good, honest and
loving companion. There was no formal, "Welcome to The World"
ceremony...one day she belonged to us and the next she was functioning
in the world.
My youngest Norwegian son came to America and had quite a bit of
culture shock. But once he got his feet planted on the ground he did
OK. He made his way into the world when he decided to join the US Army
as a paratrooper with the 82nd Airborne Division. He sees action in
Afghanistan but always remembers to call his mom and let her know that
he is safe. One of the proudest moments of my life was when I stood
next to him in a crowed mall as an impromptu crowd of people thanked
him for his service to the USA...a country that he is not even a
citizen of. He too walks tall as he moves through the world.
The youngest son took a long time to finally crawl out from under the
protective feathers of his mamma hen. He took several big jumps out of
the nest, but the first time he would stumble, he would run back home
and climb back into the nest. A few months ago he announced that he
too would make his way into the world clothed in the uniform of a
soldier. I took him to the recruiters' this morning to go to the Army
induction processing center. Before I left I gave him a big bear hug,
looked him straight in the eye and told him how proud I am of him.
The two youngest girls ran off into the dark of the night at age 15,
flipping me the bird, telling me that I was a horrible parent for
making them go to school, not allowing them to have sex and not to use
drugs & alcohol.
My children have introduced me to, and made me interact with many of
the most interesting people in the world. These people include
teachers, temple presidents, skater-boys with their hats on sideways,
credit union loan officers, vice-principals, judges, hillbilly parents
that insisted that "you and the little mrs." should join them for a
bar-b-que on Sunday, squeaky-clean-well-scrubbed, bright-eyed young
ladies & young men, overly-tattooed druggies, bill collectors, mission
presidents and their wives, OB/GYN doctors, drywall repairmen,
assistant district attorneys, public defenders, social workers, soccer
and baseball moms, emergency room doctors and nurses, probation
officers, bishops, DMV clerks, airline attendants, insurance
adjusters, and many, many, MANY police officers.
I have laid awake half the night worrying before a big homework
assignment was due while my darling child lay fast asleep and snoring
in their bedroom down the hall, driven halfway across the state to do
research for the dreaded 5th grade California Mission Report,
scratched my head at the untimely and unfortunate demise of a tank
full of tropical fish when my son decided to do a science experiment
and turn the tank's heater way up, read "Herman The Hamster" so many
times I still feel ready to squash the little fury rodent, read
"Charlotte's Web" to my small children and cried just as hard each
time I read about Charlottes' babies, frothed at the mouth and chewed
on the carpet when I opened the phone bill and found that it was for
over $900, picked out little pieces of bread and cookie crumbs when my
baby asked, "Dwink Daaady Dwink" and I broke down and shared my soda,
had epithets thrown in my face because I wouldn't give up the keys to
my truck, tried not to explode when I discovered that not one but two
times my children lit a twisted up wad of paper-towels and ran through
the house so they could look like the Statue of Liberty and then when
it burned close enough to their fingers they dropped it and the
burning mass continued to burn and scorch the flooring, spent a small
fortune in Legos and sacrificed these many pieces of plastic to the
vacuum-cleaner-gods, taught four of them to drive a manual
transmission and replaced the clutch in my truck four times,
emphatically taught five of them to correctly enunciate the TR sound
when trying to say the word "truck," listened to hundreds of hours of
their music which sounded shockingly similar to a pair of wet cats
stuck in a rotating cement mixer, had hundreds of dollars of change
"liberated" from the secret hiding place in my truck, "babysat"
several of the most miserable excuses for God's sorriest animal called
"dog" and last but certainly not least, changed hundreds and hundreds
and hundreds of diapers.
Back in the 1970's, someone wrote to Ann Landers and begged, "Will you
please ask your readers the question: If you had it to do over again,
would you have children?" She asked the question in her column and in
an informal, non-scientific poll, 70% of the respondents said that
having children wasn't worth it. (over 10,000 readers wrote back to
Ann) (http://happilychildfree.com/ann.htm)
I have waited for over thirty years, since the 1970's, to be able,
qualified and given the opportunity to answer this question in an
authoritative way:
Was it worthwhile to be a father to a tribe of 10 children?????
I can answer that question with a single pair of words ….
ABSOLUTELY YES
And I would do it all again in a heartbeat!
My oldest child, a son, lived at home until he was 19 ½ years old. His
mother and I desperately tried to get him to leave the nest after he
graduated from high school but he clawed his fingers across the floor
as we dragged him towards the front door, resisting every inch of the
way. We bid him welcome to the world when he joined the Air Force as a
weapons loader on B-52 bombers. He came home for a short time, to aid
his family after his mother died and his enlistment ended. After he
was sure we were safe and taken care of, he made his way back out into
the world. He married a great lady with a wonderful little boy.
The next, a girl, stayed behind in Norway when her mother and I got
married and moved to the States. The daughter settled into her life
without her mother and after a few tentative steps into the world, she
met and married a wonderful man who takes care of her and keeps her
safe and warm and dry. This daughter, of all my children, was the
easiest to raise. When she came into my life she was already potty
trained, had a driver's license and a good paying job.
Next came a son who screamed bloody-murder for his independence as
soon as he graduated from high school at age 16. His mother and I
managed to sit on him until he was 18-years old and within a couple of
weeks of his birthday he bolted for the door. He used to say that I
didn't approve of his quest for freedom...until one day he remembered
exactly who had driven him up to Utah and didn't make him pay for any
of the gas. When I dropped him off at an apartment filled with college
students... I consider that to be his release onto the world. He
honorably served a mission for our church, returned, got an education
and an incredible job filled with challenge and potential.
Then came a daughter that had initially stayed behind in Norway. It
wasn't many weeks until she came trotting behind her mom to America.
She made some life-decisions that made me scratch my head in wonder.
One day she woke up and said, "This is insane." She picked up the
phone, called her mother and said, "I need some advice, Mamma." Within
a week she was home and within another week she had met an incredible
man who swept her off of her feet with a storybook romance. I feel I
released her to the world when she and this knight-hearted man got
married.
Behind her was a son that came from Norway and desperately wanted to
go on a mission for our church. In spite of an initial disappointment
about his assigned destination, he realized the Lord would never send
him somewhere he wasn't supposed to be. He went out into the world
with his scriptures, two suits and an incredible commitment to do the
Lord's work. After his mission he came home with his head held high,
met a young lady and chased her until she caught him.
Next was a daughter that relocated to the States with her mother. But
she only stayed for a few weeks before she headed back to Norway.
There was a boy in her life and fortunately he was a good, honest and
loving companion. There was no formal, "Welcome to The World"
ceremony...one day she belonged to us and the next she was functioning
in the world.
My youngest Norwegian son came to America and had quite a bit of
culture shock. But once he got his feet planted on the ground he did
OK. He made his way into the world when he decided to join the US Army
as a paratrooper with the 82nd Airborne Division. He sees action in
Afghanistan but always remembers to call his mom and let her know that
he is safe. One of the proudest moments of my life was when I stood
next to him in a crowed mall as an impromptu crowd of people thanked
him for his service to the USA...a country that he is not even a
citizen of. He too walks tall as he moves through the world.
The youngest son took a long time to finally crawl out from under the
protective feathers of his mamma hen. He took several big jumps out of
the nest, but the first time he would stumble, he would run back home
and climb back into the nest. A few months ago he announced that he
too would make his way into the world clothed in the uniform of a
soldier. I took him to the recruiters' this morning to go to the Army
induction processing center. Before I left I gave him a big bear hug,
looked him straight in the eye and told him how proud I am of him.
The two youngest girls ran off into the dark of the night at age 15,
flipping me the bird, telling me that I was a horrible parent for
making them go to school, not allowing them to have sex and not to use
drugs & alcohol.
My children have introduced me to, and made me interact with many of
the most interesting people in the world. These people include
teachers, temple presidents, skater-boys with their hats on sideways,
credit union loan officers, vice-principals, judges, hillbilly parents
that insisted that "you and the little mrs." should join them for a
bar-b-que on Sunday, squeaky-clean-well-scrubbed, bright-eyed young
ladies & young men, overly-tattooed druggies, bill collectors, mission
presidents and their wives, OB/GYN doctors, drywall repairmen,
assistant district attorneys, public defenders, social workers, soccer
and baseball moms, emergency room doctors and nurses, probation
officers, bishops, DMV clerks, airline attendants, insurance
adjusters, and many, many, MANY police officers.
I have laid awake half the night worrying before a big homework
assignment was due while my darling child lay fast asleep and snoring
in their bedroom down the hall, driven halfway across the state to do
research for the dreaded 5th grade California Mission Report,
scratched my head at the untimely and unfortunate demise of a tank
full of tropical fish when my son decided to do a science experiment
and turn the tank's heater way up, read "Herman The Hamster" so many
times I still feel ready to squash the little fury rodent, read
"Charlotte's Web" to my small children and cried just as hard each
time I read about Charlottes' babies, frothed at the mouth and chewed
on the carpet when I opened the phone bill and found that it was for
over $900, picked out little pieces of bread and cookie crumbs when my
baby asked, "Dwink Daaady Dwink" and I broke down and shared my soda,
had epithets thrown in my face because I wouldn't give up the keys to
my truck, tried not to explode when I discovered that not one but two
times my children lit a twisted up wad of paper-towels and ran through
the house so they could look like the Statue of Liberty and then when
it burned close enough to their fingers they dropped it and the
burning mass continued to burn and scorch the flooring, spent a small
fortune in Legos and sacrificed these many pieces of plastic to the
vacuum-cleaner-gods, taught four of them to drive a manual
transmission and replaced the clutch in my truck four times,
emphatically taught five of them to correctly enunciate the TR sound
when trying to say the word "truck," listened to hundreds of hours of
their music which sounded shockingly similar to a pair of wet cats
stuck in a rotating cement mixer, had hundreds of dollars of change
"liberated" from the secret hiding place in my truck, "babysat"
several of the most miserable excuses for God's sorriest animal called
"dog" and last but certainly not least, changed hundreds and hundreds
and hundreds of diapers.
Back in the 1970's, someone wrote to Ann Landers and begged, "Will you
please ask your readers the question: If you had it to do over again,
would you have children?" She asked the question in her column and in
an informal, non-scientific poll, 70% of the respondents said that
having children wasn't worth it. (over 10,000 readers wrote back to
Ann) (http://happilychildfree.com/ann.htm)
I have waited for over thirty years, since the 1970's, to be able,
qualified and given the opportunity to answer this question in an
authoritative way:
Was it worthwhile to be a father to a tribe of 10 children?????
I can answer that question with a single pair of words ….
ABSOLUTELY YES
And I would do it all again in a heartbeat!
Friday, December 24, 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)