130+ Places I Have Slept

Derider, Houston, Pasadena, Sasebo, San Pedro, Blythe, Nutley, New York City, Mystic, Portsmouth, Washinton, Los Angeles, Juniper Hills, San Francisco, Chicago, London, Paris, Hamburg, Munich, Innsbruck, Florence, Venice, Rome, Bishop, Sacramento, Seattle, Callville, St. Louis, Portland, Lake Providence, Dallas, Barstow, San Diego, Waukegan, Groton, Honolulu, Haiphong, San Luis Obispo, Monterey, Las Vegas, Pocatello, Billings, Fargo, South Bend, Charleston, Kittery, Killeen, Charleston, Ladson, Dunoon, North Atlantic, north of Polyarny, Atlanta, Kissimmee,Norfolk, Newport, Port Canaveral, Fort Lauderdale, Miami, Milwaukee, Newport News, Richmond, Wilmington, Elizabeth City, Jacksonville, Annapolis, Williamsburg, Boston, Salisbury, Roanoke, Placentia, Hemet, Sanger, Boulder, Santa Maria, Alamogordo, Lompoc, Denver, Casper, Colorado Springs, St. Petersburg, Santa Barbara, Ridgecrest, Fresno, Mesquite, Salt Lake City, Westwood, Mountain View, Nauvoo, San Antonio, Provo, Bossier City, Gallop, Barcelona, Valencia, Oslo, Kongsberg, Shreveport, Drammen, Stockholm, Helsinki, San  Simeon, Cambria, Cherry Hill, squeaky train to Trondheim, Mosjøen, Narvik, Tromso, Alta, Kirkenes, Hurtigruten off coast of Norge, Nordkapp, Bergen, Sandefjord, Copenhagen, Kløftefoss, Sande, Williams, St. Petersburg, Hafnarfjörður, Reykjavik,Fayetteville, Columbus, Hollywood, Toms River, Rexburg, Jacksonville, Raleigh, Kitty Hawk, Layton, St. George, San Onofre, Layton, Ogden

Heaven and Hell

I heard this a while back and still laugh about it:

Heaven is ...

Where the police are British,
 The cooks are Italian,
 The mechanics are German,
 The lovers are French and
 It's all organized by the Swiss.

Hell is ...

Where the police are German,
 The cooks are British,
 The Mechanics are French,
 The lovers are Swiss and
 It's all organized by the Italians

Cameron

[caption id="attachment_744" align="aligncenter" width="490" caption="The most informative picture I have ever taken."][/caption]

Frank The Ferocious

Frank doing his best "I'm Off To Pillage An English Village" imitation.

17th Of May

17th of May is Norwegian Constitution Day and it is a big deal in Norway. The closest I can compare it to in the USA is a combination of 4th of July, Memorial Day and Veterans Day all mixed together. In Norway there are parades of school children and lots lots lots of flag waving. This year Kari decided to have a party and celebrate with 78 of our closest friends. Our house was decorated with our finest red/white blue party material. It was fun and I am pooped. I cooked 120 waffles of which most got eaten... along with "blotekake" (soft cake) and "rullekaka" (rolled cake)

At the party, 100% of the native born Norwegians, that live in Ridgecrest, were here... Kari, Lotte and Edlie. Kari came here 8 years ago when she married me...Lotte is an exchange student... and Edlie has been here 50 years.

Frank's Birthday

Frank turns 9 years old

Flashy Dresser

Even at age 8 Frank was a trend-setting and flashy dresser.

Dealing With Kids

How to deal with a mouthy kid. (Cameron at about age 10 - 1996)

WHAT?!?!?!?!

..... You can't prove a darned thing... prove it was me!!!!

HEY YOU KIDS...

... what do you think you're doing out there in the woods????

Frank Doing Cowboy Two-Step

I love these embarrasing pictures. Taken Christmas 1985.

Frankie and Timmy 1984

These embarrassing pictures were taken just before the Los Angeles Olympics in 1984.



Frank after he lost a tooth and was quite proud of the fact.

Tim looking like the sweet angel that he always was (snicker snicker).

WhitePaws

A cat that adopted our family in Santa Maria in 1987. (The Boisverts have never been known for creative pet names.)

Photogenic

One of the better pictures of Frank

Stairsteps

I am now shorter than all three sons.

Double Yoke

An egg we hard boiled a while back.

Buhaha...

Tim (Fuzzy Bunny Suit) and Frank (Superboy) .. 1981 (Placentia, CA)



(They still actually like each other.)

Frank From The Archives

A classic picture of Frank on one of his few "off days" when he was a kid.

"Leave me ALONE!!!!"

Eartha Kitt

We had an uneventful Eartha Day (April 22nd).... Kari and I listened to several Eartha Kitt CD's and enjoyed the overall enviroment.

The LOOK

When Cameron was a little guy he was MASTER of giving The LOOK:

Submarine T-Shirt

Baby Grace

Son Frank and family stopped by last evening. I took some pictures of my granddaughter Grace for the archives. This is the best:

Post Surgery

I am now almost two weeks past surgery and lost just shy of 40 pounds. When I started the presurgery, a week before I had it I weighed 280 pounds. I now weigh, as of this morning at shower time, 242 pounds. My menu is still pretty blah and I am eating one meal a day. Last night and tonight the meal is salmon moistened by fat-free mayo. Tomorrow I willl move up to tuna and mayo. All my food has to be mushed up pretty small and it is like eating mush. More to come...

Surgery

Last Tuesday I underwent a Roux-en-Y stomach bypass procedure. As a result I will lose about 100 pounds. At my height I was at 280 pounds and gaining about 6 to 8 pounds a year. I started investigating it a year ago and made my mind up to have it done 2 months ago.

I am 3 days out of the hospital and doing good. I'm afraid I an tired of the same menu...protein drink, sugar-free non-Jello jello and water. I can now swallow and tolerate 4 sips of the protein water...wait 10 minutes then half a container of jello and wait 10 minutes and wait then 4 sips of the water ....

I have no bathroom scale but I imagine I will lose 15 pounds by next Thursday. The doctor says I will most likely be at 200 pounds (75 pounds) in 6 months and at my goal of 170 pounds by next Easter.

Through this blog I will keep you posted of my progress.

All I Need To Know Came From The Easter Bunny

All I need to know I learned from the Easter Bunny!

(From an e-mail sent by my buddy Patrick Davis)

Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
Everyone needs a friend who is all ears.
There's no such thing as too much candy.
All work and no play can make you a basket case.
A cute tail attracts a lot of attention.
Everyone is entitled to a bad hare day.
Let happy thoughts multiply like rabbits.
Some body parts should be floppy.
Keep your paws off of other people's jelly beans.
Good things come in small, sugar coated packages.
The grass is always greener in someone else's basket.
To show your true colors, you have to come out of the shell.
The best things in life are still sweet and gooey.

Happy Easter!

Bridge Jumping

Study this picture. It is an image of the Vincent Thomas Bridge that runs between San Pedro and Terminal Island, California, my hometown.


This is the most amazing bridge in the world. It moves...right before your eyes. In any given evening you will be able to watch your TV and see the bridge be relocated from Los Angeles Harbor to San Francisco to Baltimore and finally end up in the background of New York Harbor.

Isn't that AMAZING????

I think the only place they haven't tried to swap off a on-site switch-a-roo is to make the bridge appear in the background in Topkea, Kansas.

Another place that gets moved around a lot is the wall at the Point Ferman Park, San Pedro.



This wall also gets "moved" a lot to. One show it's in San Diego and the next it will show up in Seattle.

I laugh and point it out and in the beginning Kari thought I was crazy. Then I took her down to San Pedro and showed her these icons of my youth....She is now a believer.

Sam-iches

When I was an elementary school youngster, my mother would make my lunch, wrap the sandwich in wax paper and put it in my Superman metal lunchbox with a piece of fruit or cucumber slices (also wrapped in waxpaper) and a thermos of milk. I remember three kinds of sandwiches; meatloaf with catchup, peanut butter and grape jelly or baloney with American cheese and Miracle Whip. At 10-years old, you just shut up and eat what you are told to eat. As an adult I now know that I greatly dislike sandwiches that have been kept in a small metal box for four hours sitting on the class's cloakroom shelf. The meatloaf wasn't so bad, but the catchup used to get an odd after-taste after warming all morning, the grape jelly would soak into the bread and get mushy and the warm balcony and cheese would get very soft and melt into the Miracle Whip.

I used to get in trouble with the teacher because I would trade my sandwich and fruit for somebody's more yummy sandwich...like salami or cold grill cheese. The little tradee/classmate would find out that I had gotten the better part of the deal and would squeel on me to the authoritatian dictator of a teacher.

I can distinctly remember the teacher saying at 11:55AM, each school day, "Lunch time, boys and girls...and NO TRADING."

[caption id="attachment_641" align="aligncenter" width="200" caption="(not exact replica)"][/caption]

I Love Babies

What a pair of cutie-pies!!!!

Grandbabies

Grandbaby Grace makes number 8 for Kari and I. The oldest is a step-grandson who is five... but Jacob, Sebastian are turning 4 and McKenzie is just turning 3 so there have been ***7*** born in the past FOUR years. I have a personal goal of 20 grandchildren.... And at the fertility rate they are going, they will have no problems hitting that goal for me.

I tried to warn them...I told them all, "Don't have kids...they will steal your money, make you poor and then you have to go to junior soccer games to watch the little darlings sit in the middle of the playing field, pulling grass, because they are tired of running... while all the other kids run up and down the field past them."

Personally I like having grandkids....you can hand the baby back to its parent and not have any guilt.... Your children say you are grumpy, but who cares...What do they know? This grumpy man raised those know-it-all adult children...that is how I got to be so grumpy.

Grace Alyn Boisvert

May I introduce Grace Alyn Boisvert born today March 26, 2009 at 7:45PM and was 8 pounds 4 ounces. Middle named Alyn (which is
pronounced Allen )  ... is named for my middle name. I cried like a baby. Mother, baby and excited Daddy are all doing just fine.

Navy Names

When I was in the Navy...on my first boat... my "handle" was Frenchie. Since "Boisvert" is a French name, someone thought it would be a good name to refer to me by.  I think that practice is mostly in the Navy, because I asked my son Frank what his Air Force handle was... he gave me a blank stare and just kind of stared at me. I suppose giving friends unusual names (Lick, Buck-Buck, Chico, Pollack and Duffus) are too infantile for the "grown-up" Air Force.

Cameron....

My son Cameron...Still stylin' after all these years!!!!

Did You Know...?

At five minutes and six seconds after 4 AM on the 8th of July this year, the time and date will be 04:05:06 07/08/09. This will not happen again until 2109.

Home Depot

You know, your woman is way to easy to please if your romantic Friday evening 'get-away' includes stopping by Home Depot..."Just to look around."

Big Bang Theory

Discovered a new show on Monday evenings at 8:00PM. It is called "Big Bang Theory" and it is about a bunch of CalTech studets trying hard to be the geeks they are.

Pretty funny in my book...Geeky but funny. (What do you want to bet that Bill Gates even watches it?????)

Tortoises Are Awake

Up fron their winter hibernation, this is J. Gorden (left) and Mary Ellen (right). It was warm enough today that the happy couple crawled out of their burrow and spent the day grazing. I've "owned" J. Golden for almost 15 years, along with his "blood brother" Wilford. Wilford, and his buddy Tommy, are sill sleepin' like babies.

Ducks

According to Jay Leno, "Experts have determind that many ducks are gay.... What kind of QUACK came up with that fact?"

Nordic Countries

My buddy asked me today:

"Did Kari catch "Good Morning America" this morning? They were in Finland thought she might enjoy (I expect she's far ahead of me) I saw it on my way out of the house this AM."

I responded:

Norway, buddy, not Finland... Norway!!!  Although they are both Nordic countries they are different as night and day. Fin's are a bunch of drunks and Norwegians are a very kind and gentle people... that at least wait wait until they get on the airplane, to go to Spain, to over-indulge. A Swede is a Norwegian with half a brain. People in Denmark sit in street cafes and drink Heineken all day. Iceland is a gray country... 99% of the buildings are made of  concrete... after all, why paint when it snows 10 months out of the year!!!

I LOVE Norway. Been there eight times. Been to Finland (Helsinki) twice, Sweden three times and Copenhagen once and was not overly impressed. The very best thing I remember from Helsinki was listening to a musical group, in the main park, that came from Peru, and a troupe of trained cats...  Sweden was OK and the best thing in Copenhagen was the Little Mermaid statue...it really IS "little".

BTW, don't let Kari hear you imply that she is Finnish.... She would thrash you about the head and shoulders.... Kind of like the time we were in Rjukan at the "heavy water" plant and the tour guide called me British... When I corrected him he said, "Whatever...both the same." I put him in his place with The Look.

Gizzy's Wild Night

Oh why did I drink so many beers last night?

Work

If you call me at work and I'm on the phone, please leave a message...I have a little message blinky-light. I spend about 33% of my time on the phone and the other 56% doing e-mail and 10% running around in circles worrying that the sky is falling which leaves 1% for lunch, talking to my wife about the grandkids and bathroom breaks.

 

I am going on two business trips in the next two weeks. One three day trip to San Diego CA and the next week a four day trip to Mesa AZ. I'll keep you posted.

HEY!!!!

(From Jay Leno's Headlines)

HEY!!!! What are you DOING back there?????

The Amazing "Seaview" Submarine

The 10 Biggist AMAZING things I learned from watching "Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea" and then learned differently after joining the submarine Navy were:



10: Only on the Seaview can the boat be headed downward and the fairwater planes be on full rise (pointing up).

9: Only on the Seaview can there be eight gigantic glass windows in the bow.

8: On the Seaview there is a big pool with a shark swimming around.

7: Only on the Seaview, the boat can be doing a 25 degree up angle and inside the decks are perfectly level.

6: The Admiral has a secretary (a lieutenant!!!) that likes to buggy-woogy on the mess decks while a shipmate blows on his horn.

5: The above mentioned secretary can scamper up and down ladders in super tight skirts and high heels...the AMAZING thing is that not a single sailor looks upward to see her climbing down the later in the aforementioned tight skirt.

4: The crew of the Seawolf can tap into underwater telephone lines and make phone calls... Oh wait, the USS Halibut (SSN-587) really did do that.

3: Giant octipuses, the size of a barn, can eat the bow of the Seaview and get scared off by shooting electricity through the hull from the

2: The nuclear reactor glows blue

AND

1: The van Allen Radiation Belt can catch on fire

Schmickle

From www.urbandictionary.com

Schmickle: "An almost tickle. When someone starts to tickle you but doesn't actually do it. Often when someone says they aren't going to tickle you, the schmickle is the end result. It is usually just a touch without the actual tickle action but drives you crazy anyway."

When Frank was a little boy he was so ticklish, and all I had to do was get him to THINK I was going to tickle him and he would uncontrollably laugh. I'd get Frank to stand next to me and hold his arm up exposing his armpit...I'd move my index finger towards his pit and he would giggle and giggle and giggle.... until there were tears coning down his cheeks.

I never understoof why he didn't just run away and hide.

Garden Progress Update

This is a crude mash-up to show the progress with the planting today in the new garden. Water and power is run but still needs work and 2/3 of the stepping stone bases are pored and placed. Fence posts and mid line supports are set in concrete and curing. Tomorrow after church I want to start getting the fence boards up.

I Had Lots Of Help In The Garden Today

Urine or You're Out

I got this from my cousin:

Like a lot of folks in this state, I have a job. I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to get that paycheck, I am required to pass a random urine test with which I have no problem. What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test.

Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them? Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their rump--doing drugs, while I work. . . . Can you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check?

I guess we could title that program, 'Urine or You're Out'.  Pass this along if you agree or simply delete if you don't. Hope you all will pass it along, though.  Something has to change in this country - and soon!!!!!!!

Sunday Afternoon

Yesterday afternoon we have dinner with my cousins Mike and Lori Weatherbie, Frank, Jeni & Caleb and granddaughter McKenzie. We have a wonderful meatloaf and very good conversation. After dinner we migrated to the backyard to see the progress of the graden.  Here are the pictures:

[gallery]

Ten Kids

My buddy Gene B. commented today: " With 10 kids, I'd thought you would have figured out what was causing that around #4 and got it fixed. What were you trying to do ... Start you own football team or populate a small African country?"

Actually I took the worry out of being close after #3 was born... but I still ended up with ten children.

There is one reason and one reason alone why I have ten kids. I was ready to stop having kids with Frank and Tim, but Connie wouldn't have it that way. I have 10 kids because I never learned to say, "NO!!!," to my two wives (former-girlfriends).

After Frank and Tim were babies, it took Connie seven years to talk me into a third child after the trauma of Tim's babyhood. Since Connie used the laws of statistics to determine that child #3 was going to be a girl, she was pretty upset when a boy came along (Cameron). But she still had this burning desire to dress up a small human in bows and frills. Since Frank was 10-years old and Tim was 8, neither was willing to volunteer for the dress-wearing duty. So when son #3 was seven two little girls dropped into our lives. I should have stomped my feet and yelled "NO!!!"

When Cameron was 13-years old and the girls were eleven, I found myself widowed and desperately twiterpated by a lovely woman. I fell held-over-heels in love with a her and THEN found out that she too had five kids. I again should have protested and screamed, "NO!!!!!" and bolted for the door. Instead I stood there with this goofy look on my face and accepted my fate to be the father to a tribe of ten.

***sigh***

[caption id="attachment_486" align="alignleft" width="234" caption="What a herd of 10 children looks like."][/caption]

What a herd of 10 children feels like.

Getting Older

I am not balding, I am follically challenged. In the Bible (2 Kings 2:23), some boys were laughing at Elisha and they said, "Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head!"  It says that he cursed them in the name of the Lord and two “she bears” came out of the woods and tore-up 42 of those little hoodlums.

I am not fat, I am gravity enhanced.

My hair and mustache are not graying, they are simply color depleted.

I am not hard of hearing, I am simply ignoring your foolishness.

I am not forgetful, I am Teflon Brained (nothing sticks). Old age comes at a very bad time. Now that I have all the answers to life, I've forgotten the questions and why I was even asking in the first place.

My jean's waistline is not big, I am maximizing my contributions to the blue jeans material economy.

My butt is not getting bigger, it is simply becoming more rounded for better aerodynamic blow-by.

I do not snore, I am maintaining a sonar-like guardian parameter monitoring system while I am asleep.

I do not fart, I am simply making a greenhouse gas contribution. It is discussed in the Bible: "He that troubeth his own house shall inherit the wind" ... Proverbs 11:29.

My sight is not getting worse, I am increasing my sight score... Remember, 20/20 is a lower score than 20/50.

"Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they become discouraged." (Colossians 3:21) Remember, these children are the ones that will someday choose your retirement home. Do you want to live in a 1st class “assisted living facility” or in a 4th class “nursing home” in Tijuana?

I never got a tattoo. For this I am extremely grateful. I want my children to keep this in mind too. Remember, in 2009 a babe with a Tramp Stamp is HOT, HOT, HOT. One thing to remember…Will it look as good to see that same “Tat” on your grandmother’s butt in the year 2059?

Lastly, will "perky" breast implants look as good on your 80 year old grandmother when she has on one of those flowered housecoats that blue-haired old ladies love to wear.

Our Corner Of Eden

We planted update plants in the garden today.



I am DOG TIRED and achy all over. Getting old is a bitch.

Lable

On a prescription bottle of sleeping pills, I recently read the following important warning... "Caution: May cause drowsiness"

YEAH!!! Wait... What?  HUH?

WARNING!!!!!!

I originally saw this (or a variation thereof) on Frank's "pioneer" Web page, in about 1997.

"This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age.

Stealing Grapes

This afternoon I made my daily trip to Albertsons. As usual, I made my first round through the fruit and veggy section to grab some naval oranges (Cara Cara Naval to be specific). Across the "fruit island" was a grandmotherly looking lady. She had opened the ziplock bag of green grapes and was eating the grapes one-by-one. After picking out my four oranges, she was still munching down on the grapes. I could contain myself no longer so I looked straight at her and said, "You're supposed to pay for the grapes before you eat them." She looked up and replied, "I have to sample them before I know their worth buying." I was shocked.... I said back, "Sampling is one thing....you're making a meal out of them....As a matter of fact, your stealing from the store." "I'm ***NOT*** stealing!!!!"

I rolled my cart away, shaking my head in total disgust.

After a spin around the store, I remembered I wanted some pears. So back to the "fruit island" I go. What do I find? The same grandmotherly looking lady...except she is now "sampling" the strawberries. She had three strawberry boxes open and was swapping out the superior berries for the "less than perfect berries." If that wasn't bad enough, one out of three of the berries ended up in her mouth. She was stashing the stems into the "less than perfect" box.

I just stood there and stared at her. She noticed me and said, "I'm not stealing...I don't steal...stealing is a sin."

I just walked away.

***sigh***

Family Photos

Jeni, Frank & Caleb



Naomi, Terje, Jacob & Linnéa



Tim



Belinda & Jerry



Glenn, Christy & Nico



Miriam & Sebastian



Allen



Cameron

Aretha Franklin's Hat

Heck, that's not a hat Aretha, that's the original Wright Flier with Wilbur steering and Orville laying on the wing.

Raining

It's raining today. Depressing.... 40 degrees and everywhere it is wet.

I would go sit in the hot tub, but I don't want to get wet.

Five Guys Burgers

I was introduced to Five Guys burgers last June by my son Tim. GREAT burgers!!!!! With out angering the gods I would have to say that they MIGHT be better than In'N'Out.

On the trip up to Utah we stopped at a local franchise and Kari each had a burder..... All I can say is YUMYUMYUMYUM[gallery]

My Father

This is a picture of my father, Frank Herman Boisvert, in October 1945 about a week after he returned from the South Pacific and WWII and married my mother. He was my hero.

Rain

Just for the record...last night's storm dropped .5 inches of rain.

In a land where the annual rainfall is 2 inches, we just got one quarter of the way there in one evening.

Words For War

The "Sami" people are the indigenous people of northern Norway, northern Sweden, northern Finland and northwestern Russia. In the USA we wrongly refer to these people as "Lapps" or "Lapplanders."  The Sami closely identify themselves with the Eskimo and American Indian people.

In Sami there are 60+ words for snow and no word for "war."
In English there are 60+ words for "war" but only one word for snow.

Do you see something wrong here?

Black Awareness Month

In an "All Hands" message today:

"February is Black History Month, during this month we take the opportunity to recognize Black Americans and the contributions they have made for their country. The theme for this year's program is The Quest for Black Citizenship in the Americas."

I asked my co-team-members:
"When are we going to have a "Deaf History Month," "Samoan-American Week" or even "Depressed-Guy-Who's-People-Have-Been-Here-Since-Jamestown Afternoon?" Why is it that I always feel jilted when February comes around?  Just asking."

#1 (A deaf person) answered:
"I know what you mean... We deaf get clumped together with "Disabled Appreciation Month" (Oct)... But it's like apples and oranges! We face very different obstacles that normally confront physically challenged persons."

#2 (a Samoan-American person) answered:
"I'm not sure we Samoan-Americans have been on this continent long enough to deserve a month, week, afternoon, or even 59 minutes, so I won't complain."

Gratulere Med Dagen Glenn

I decided to sing my birthday greetings to son Glenn for his 28th birthday today, January 30, 2009.

With a little coaxing from my darling wife, Kari, I employed a "Ghost Singer" to help me with the singing parts.

So, for your local party for Glenn's celebration, you now have music to "Get Down and get Funky" with.

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