The Brothers Boisvert

Ridgecrest, CA (AP) This normally quiet desert town was jolted awake this past weekend to the announcement of the landmark resolution between the notorious Boisvert brothers. (See “Landmark Resolution in Local Family’s BMW Hullabaloo”)

These brothers were brought up in a typical middle-class family but decided to take the path of a criminal syndicate. Following these brothers’s history is like watching a TV mini-series about the Mafia-gone-crazy.

There have been numerous run-ins with the law for the brothers Boisvert. They have racked up many clashes with the law including firearms and explosives violations, indecent exposure, dumping of toxic wastes and public intoxication. It has been rumored that they prefer “younger” females and make no secret of their preferences. This behavior seems to be “normal” for them. The older bother, Frank, has even been overheard stating, “Yeah, so what if she is young…It’s no big deal, as a matter of fact she’s pregnant with my child.” It brings back images of Jerry Lee Lewis in his younger days.

The younger brother, Tim Boisvert, has made several suspicious overseas trips this past year. He has shuttled between Europe, India and southeastern Asia several times. When his family and friends were questioned about these trips they admitted, “We have no idea what Tim does when he’s over there.” It has been rumored that his trips involved drug running and illegal overseas shipment of advanced technology arms to organizations unfriendly with USA foreign policies. Unfortunately Tim has managed to stay one step ahead of his investigators.

Frank Boisvert, the older brother, has had his background investigated several times, in the past dozen years, by federal authorities, but nothing significant has been revealed. Through “Yellow-Dog Politics,” this brother has managed to cover his tracks and elude prosecution.

The “Landmark Resolution” article makes reference to “local resident” Steve McGee. Mr. McGee is actually Glenn A. Brownlee of Rexburg, ID, where he is posing as a student at a major university. Brownlee is living with his “wife” and will soon be moving. Could they too be trying to flee the police? In addition to the “McGee” alias, Brownlee has also gone by the pseudonyms Gladys O’Mally, Schmooglie Poo and Googly Bear. His exact involvement in the Boisvert brothers crime syndicate is unknown at this time.

The items of the “Landmark Resolution” article indicated that the brothers agreed that Tim Boisvert would be acknowledged as the “first owner of a BMW in the Boisvert/Brownlee family. This acknowledgment is completely untrue. A check of DMV (California) records indicated that the Boisvert brother’s father, a Mr. Robert Boisvert of Ridgecrest) owned a BMW a least 20 years before Tim Boisvert claim to fame. The BMW was gray in color and used by the young and troubled Boisvert brothers as a flogging device on trips to desolate desert locations.

The “Landmark Resolution” also acknowledged that Frank Boisvert was the more superior driver of all vehicular except sail-boats. When this question was verified with Robert Boisvert, patriarch of the Boisvert/Brownlee clan, he indicated that if his son Frank was a good and superior driver, “It’s because I taught him everything he knows about driving a car.”

Mr Robert concluded the interview by stating that the part of the article that upset him the most was the reference to his “penis” truck. I would prefer in the future, Mr. Boisvert said, “If they were going to reference my truck, they should have refered to it as a “BIG, LONG, RED, hard bodied” penis truck.”

It is obvious that this it NOT the last time we’ve heard from these infamous brothers.